Happiness and the Atonement

This thought occurred to me during Sacrament meeting today: We often testify about hard life events and how through the power of Christ and the Atonement we were able to overcome it. But, if Christ experienced all things, then he also knows our happiness and triumphs.

Think about how amazing it is that not only does He know how to comfort you when you don't get the grade you needed, a close family member dies, or the love of your life breaks your heart, He knows how to celebrate with you when you killed that final presentation, you land your dream job, or you win $0.84 on HQ.

He is just as quick to reach out to us during the good times as He is the bad. And all we have to do is to reach out and grab His hand to lift us up in all of life's experiences.

Anywho, how was everyone's first week of 2 hour church?

A Pure Heart and a Pure Mind: Reconciling the Law of Chastity and the Natural Man Part II

After I night and half a day of thinking I finally figured out where I want this series to go. So here we go with the second part of this reconciliation:

Who is the Natural Man?

Now any person who has spent any time in some sort of Book of Mormon class, whether that is Sunday School, Seminary, or Institute, has probably heard the verse found in the 3rd chapter of Mosiah, given to us by King Benjamin in the first recorded General Conference on the American Continent which says: 

19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. 

Taken from this verse the natural man is an "enemy to God" or you could say the opposite of God. God is good, therefore the natural man is bad. God is honest and pure, therefore the natural man is deceitful and corrupted. You get the idea. It is often taught that because of this we tend to assume that within each of us there are two warring factions, the spirit and the flesh. The spirit being our good side and our flesh being the evil side.

In order to become a saint, all one has to do is "put off" the natural man (whatever that's supposed to mean) or the evil, carnal, physical parts of me. Sounds simple enough, what are some of the things that the natural man desires? All I need to do is get rid of those in my life and I'm good. Let's list some of those desires: food, water, warmth, shelter, sex, survival, friendship, love, peace, hope, belonging. Wait, those ones at the beginning make sense, but how do you explain that last half? Those all sound like things that the spirit wants, not things that are commonly attributed to a natural man. 

Because of certain beliefs from the dark ages that still are a part of us today, we are stuck on the idea that somehow the body and the spirit are two separate entities. They are in fact one being, a whole person or soul. Before we received a body we were not a complete being and after we die and lose our body we are again incomplete. It is only when we are united body and spirit in all aspects of life that we are truly complete.

That I feel is the great fallacy of our time, that these two entities are always opposed to each other and at constant war over who is in control of the person as a whole. To me that doesn't make any sense, we have been sent down here by God to receive a body and to have our faith and resolve tested. The body that we have received is one of the most precious gifts that God has given us, remember we had to earn it and not all of His children managed to do that. If the body is really so great, glorious, and a precious gift of God, then why it is also the source of trouble and sin in our life?

A man much wiser than I am once explained it this way:

"You are always dragging me down,' said I to my Body. 'Dragging you down!' replied my Body. 'Well I like that! Who taught me to like tobacco and alcohol? You, of course, with your idiotic adolescent idea of being "grown up." My palate loathed both at first: but you would have your way. Who put an end to all those angry and revengeful thoughts last night? Me, of course, by insisting on going to sleep. Who does his best to keep you from talking too much and eating too much by giving you dry throats and headaches and indigestion? Eh?' 'And what about sex?' said I. 'Yes what about it?' retorted the Body. 'If you and your wretched imagination would leave me alone I'd give you no trouble. That's Soul all over; you give me orders and then blame me for carrying them out."

--C.S. Lewis

Those things we tend to call "weaknesses of the flesh" are many times actually the weaknesses of our spirits. They just tend to be something that requires the use of a body in order to actually perform the act. While he did write it in the form of body and soul talking with each other, the true man, the complete man, it one with a body and a soul. Therefore, we cannot just separate them and call it good. They must be together for any of this to happen.

So back to my official title of this post, "Who is the Natural Man?" He is the part of our being, both of our body and our spirit, that is not like God. He is the reason I need to be tested, the reason I need to grow and improve, the reason I need to be perfected through the Atonement of Christ. That is the true natural man, he is in each of us, but he doesn't have to stay there.

Again if you have insights for me, please feel free to leave comments (I am not a being with a perfect understanding of all things). I'd love to hear from any/all of you and what you think.

A Pure Heart and A Pure Mind: Reconciling the Law of Chastity and the Desires of the Natural Man Part 1

As a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have taught about and been taught about the various doctrines and beliefs of the church more times than I could ever wish to count. As might be expected of other churches, many of these teachings involve such things as being a good person, doing good acts, and treating others right.

One of the hardest of these commandments to fully understand for me as well as other people I've talked to is known as the Law of Chastity. For those of you not familiar with this particular Law of God, it involves one of the most sacred and influential acts a human being can perform, sexual intimacy. The reason that it is one of the hardest to understand is that it is one of the few with conditions. What do I mean by conditions? It means that some of the provisions and commandments that are part of this law are only in effect during certain stages of life, and in others it doesn't affect you as much. So unlike the commandments such as, "Thou shalt not steal," which is pretty straight forward, it is hard to know exactly what is acceptable by someone striving to follow the Law of Chastity.

We as human beings are constantly looking for restrictions and limits, sometimes we are looking for them in order to push the envelope and discover new things. Other times we look for the limits in order to know where we should not go. A video released by the church in the last few years explains about this concept, with a specific focus on the law of chastity. (You can find it HERE.)

I, like many others, have struggled with finding limits of the the Law of Chastity. I haven't had any of the problems as far as the physical acts of violation go, my main problems have been within my own self, my thoughts and desires. Here's an example, I like girls, I think girls are pretty, hot, cute, beautiful, and all of those other adjectives that are used to describe their attractiveness. They are nice to look upon, they are nice to think about, they are nice to be around, they are nice to associate with, they are nice to attempt to flirt with, and they smell nice too. I am commanded to try and find one of these beautiful creatures, court her, and then marry her, so that I might receive a fullness of joy in the life to come.

Now here's the main question that I've had as far as striving to keep the Law of Chastity is concerned. As a man, who likes women, who thinks that they are pretty, who likes to "check" them out, I'll often find myself looking at one and thinking, "Wow, she's got a nice looking butt (or thighs, or calves, can you tell I'm a leg guy?)." It's at this point that the little voice inside my head that keeps me on the right path chimes in, "Hey now Brian, that's something that the natural man would say and you're not supposed to be one of those. You should be better."

The fact that girls are attractive, I have been told, is a God-given blessing. Not one person I've ever met has ever wanted to date or marry someone that they weren't in at least some way attracted to. So at what point does this God-given attraction become a problem? When does thinking, "this person I like has really pretty eyes/smile/hair/legs," turn into a violation of the Law? It says on this topic in the booklet For The Strength Of Youth: 

“Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body” (For the Strength of Youth [pamphlet, 2001], 27).

This statement seems to refer mainly to the physical acts that are violations of the Law of Chastity. You could maybe interpret the last line, "Do not arouse those emotions in you own body," as a reference to thoughts, but even then there is still a physical act that most people refer to when they think of this part.

It still leaves the questions in my mind of if this attraction is truly God-given, when does it become too much?

Well, I was hoping to have come up with an answer at this point. Apparently it hasn't happened yet and now I'm drawing a blank as to where I should take this next. Looks like this is going to become a series instead of a single post. Good thing there's more sessions of conference in order for me to get this all figured out. Maybe some of you readers will have some insights as well, leave some comments and I may even quote you in the following parts of this series.

The lesson here is to never try..

Well it happened again..I have an awesome date with a girl and then I try to get the second and end up getting the good old friend-zone talk..at least this time I did it with style..seeing as how Valentines is tomorrow, and it'll be Valentines by the time I finish this post, I decided to go big or go home..I bought her a card from the bookstore and after putting a cute little note in it asking her to be my Valentine, I left it in a spot where she would find it during a class we have together..
After class she said she wanted to talk with me..from her tone of voice I knew that the news wouldn't be good..and it wasn't or else I wouldn't be venting about it here..
And now i'm left to wonder again what it is about me that drives women away..I really wish there was something..it's hard to conquer an enemy that has no name..
Well that's all I've got for now happy Valentines day, or singles awareness day..however you want to look at it..for me it'll probably be a lonely night..but that's not much different from normal for me anyway..

Here I go again on my own..

Well here I am again..complaining about the same old thing..another holiday is coming up and my luck still hasn't changed with the ladies..and still no luck in figuring out what's wrong with me either..

I find a cute girl and then manage to work up the courage to ask her out..and in my opinion that date always turns out pretty good..the only problem is that

afterward I can't even get the girl to give me the time of day..it's at this point that maybe I'll try and give her the benefit of the doubt and keep trying for a little bit..and then I just have to give up again..not knowing anything on how to make myself more attractive to women..and what needs to be done to improve on my game even just a little bit..

And I never get any answers to what i'm doing wrong..all my friends say i'm not doing anything wrong..which I can't believe, since here I sit still a lonely man filled with questions..our if you ask my sister or her husband i'm doing everything wrong..they've taken it upon themselves to make sure I know every single little mistake I make..many of these things though are parts of me that I don't think I could ever change nor do I really want to change them..

Well I guess that's enough of my ranting for one night..and maybe this new year will bring with it many new opportunities for me..you never know..

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Being Alone

So this past saturday i had the chance to attend my cousin's wedding in new orleans..while it was a very lovely event..it just left me feeling empty..like i was the only one there who didn't have somebody..
I'm not sure what it is..It's as if i'm trapped in this box with no windows and no doors..so even if i wanted to let someone in, i couldn't..and i absolutely hate it..
Every single attempt I made this year at getting someone only ended in failure and rejection..it seems like i've tried everything and the only thing that i can come up with is that there's something wrong with me and those around me are just too nice to tell me..or just don't care enough to notice..
the one thing i know for certain is that i want that to change..but i can't since i don't know what needs to be done..no one tells me what's wrong or what i could do better..all i hear is about how i'm such a funny, nice, awesome guy..well that doesn't help me at all..cause if i'm as awesome as you say i am..then it shouldn't be like this..i should be like everyone else..
it would be so nice to know what's going on..what i'm doing wrong..what i'm not doing that i should be..just anything that could make this loneliness go away..someone to make me forget all those days and nights waiting for someone to care enough to invite me to do something..anything at all..
maybe one day it will happen..i just hope that it will be someday soon..

Late night with music on SAD

So..right now i'm jamming out at a time when i should probably be preparing for sleep..if not in bed already..
the problem is i don't want to..as much as i dislike this holiday for what it represents..and as much as i'd like it to end..i can't bring myself to go to sleep..
my mind right now is racing with so many thoughts..i'm not quite sure where to begin..
i'm trying to get over a couple of rejections by some amazing girls who've decided to get boyfriends in the past weeks without bothering to tell me..not that they needed to..it's the only good reason for a girl to reject a guy in the early stages of a relationship..and yet still painful nonetheless..plus trying not to lose my friendship with them..just in case..well you know why..
this little problem of getting over women is only compounded by the fact of how often i hear preached about going on dates and finding one's eternal companion..the pressure seems enormous to not be messing around at a time like this..but it's not my fault they say no, is it? i've got a couple of gift certificates and other such stuff that were given to me specifically for the purpose of dating..and not to seem shallow or anything..but if i'm gonna be dating for marriage, i want to date girls that are potential eternal companions that have certain qualities including, but not limited to being really attractive..and unfortunately for me, this greatly reduces the pool of girls already made slim by the workings of other men on the planet..
i might be able to sleep better at night if this was my only problem but it's not..i've also had this feeling since the end of last semester that what i'm planning on doing with life is wrong..right now i'm majoring in accounting and getting my premed stuff done too..then move on to med school and become the world's best doctor..for one reason or another this just doesn't seem right to me..and i'm not sure why..
another problem is that i'm not quite sure what to change it to..the list of options goes on..from engineering to teaching seminary..and many things in between..
these thoughts have been running through my head all semester..keeping me awake and miserable..
my only respite from these thoughts comes through music..i lose myself in it..trying to forget for a while what's going on and postponing the decisions that need to be made and the things that need doing in my life..
sometimes i can also lose myself through physical exertion..because when my body hurts..by emotions won't..this doesn't happen very often though..because of the amount of work required to make my body shut down is almost more than i can manage to do myself, it takes at least a couple hours everyday doing sprints or something else strenuous like it..if i could just figure things out..then just maybe i'll be able to truly sleep at night and not have to worry about all these things..then i could probably get out of bed in the mornings in time to actually do important morning hour things..like eat breakfast..
well..i'd best be off to at least try to sleep..maybe i'll be able to prepare for tomorrow and figure things out..and hopefully it'll be sooner rather than later..